By taking one look at the explore pages (public figures or popular profiles included) of instagram, tiktok, twitter or snapchat, we can see images and videos of the 'perfect' body. This goes for male, female and other genders. These body types are thin and pretty/handsome. For women, the perfect body is seen to be a thin waist, with d cup breasts, tan skin, long hair and wide hips. For men, this is a sharp bone structure with muscular features, tan skin and veins visible. These images can be seen everywhere.
The beauty standards for both men and women are constantly changing and developing, but one thing that seems to remain is this idea of thin=beauty. We can look back in history to when women had to wear corsets to be seen as beautiful and look at today, when girls suffer with eating disorders to maintain the thin waist. Men had to be muscular to be seen as fit, and now need to be muscular in order to get any attention whatsoever. This high and unrealistic standard of beauty is damaging and dangerous.
First of all, if you are reading this, you are alive. And for being alive to actually work out you need organs, you know, the stuff inside you that keeps you alive. And for these organs to work properly, you need food and water. To maintain these body standards we see online, you cant have food, water, organs, or be alive. Its that simple.
Lets use me as an example. I have always been underweight. I have dealt with eating disorders and have trauma surrounding food. With all that in mind, I am now a healthy weight. This is the first time in my life that this has happened. Some may look at my body now and think, 'wow she has let herself go', 'look at her stomach', or 'she must eat like a pig'. While others may look and think, 'I wish I was that thin', 'She is so beautiful and skinny', 'I want that body'. Both ways of thinking are delusional and unhealthy. What I went through for 'this body' was awful and you don't want this. But also, im finally a good weight so I am proud of myself and I have so much confidence in how look. I am not fat, skinny, or any other term. I am healthy and happy, and that's all that matters.
I had to work on my problems with my depression and anxiety to get to where I am now. I hope to be even better in future once I can deal with my trauma. It is important to see that, I was unhealthy for years. I had to get help to be happy. That is okay. You are allowed to need help. I went to a dietician for a while, and that didn't help me one bit, this is because my problems where much deeper than not wanting to gain weight. I also have trauma attached to food and eating. This needs to be worked on before I can think about eating in a positive light. Its important that you get the help that you need, not what others say you need.
I have taken two photos, one where I am just standing up, relaxed and with my natural posture. You can see I have a belly, my bum isn't massive by any means, and I have large thighs. This is how I look normally and there is nothing wrong with that. Then the second image shows me breathing in (a lot), angling my phone, twisting my body slightly, pushing my bum and boobs out, and posing. This is to show that photos online can be very very deceiving. No one walks around like the second photo because even standing like that hurts. This is without me taking the extra step to photoshop and facetune the image.
So if you know how to pose, hold your breath, and twist your body, you can look completely different. Imagine this with filters piled on, the skin smoother, lighting, and photoshop. What I am saying is, you don't know what actually goes on behind these instagram thinspo/fitspo selfies. There are actually tutorials on how to stand for photos now?!?!?!?!?!!?! #howtopose and #photohacks have been trending on tiktok and they are full of these angles and body twists that won't do your spine any favours. This is truly disgusting to think about. If you just see a photo you might not question all the work it took for it to look like that. This is deceiving and dangerous for people seeing these photos without context.
Moving on from that. Men or male appearing people, are expected to look like Zac Efron or Chris Hemsworth. What some people won't know is that actors, models and other celebrities can go on strict diet and exercise schedules to 'get in shape' for a role. The will also dehydrate themselves to make veins and muscles appear larger than normal. This isn't healthy. Basically you cant look like that unless it becomes your whole life. you wake up follow you strict schedule, don't drink, and go to bed to wake up and do it again. Its impossible.
Things that can also be going on behind the scenes of these instagram models photos can be drugs, surgery, disorders and editing. These mixed together can make the 'ideal' body. Don't compare yourself to those who you don't even know. They could be the least happy person and you wouldn't know it from those photos. A life where your biggest concern is taking the best photos for instagram isn't a happy one. As I said earlier, I got to this stage with my body through seeking professional help. If you are unhealthy then I highly urge you seek to support that you need.
You don't need to look like these photos online to have confidence or self worth. I don't look like the stereotype of female beauty but here I am, living my best life, with a healthy body and I look how I want to look. I don't have long blonde hair, tan skin, long legs, or a tiny waist, but I have happiness.
I wanted to also talk quickly about clothing sizes. They mean nothing! Sometimes I fit my size 8 shorts with no issues, other days I cant fit into a size 12 to save my life. Not to mention how you can buy something from the same brand and the size be completely different. Don't limit you idea of yourself to a number on a tag. You are so much more than that.
I hope that this has shed some light on how the media can twist our perception on the images we see. People only show you the best parts of themselves, and sometimes even then, they are warping the images. If you are struggling with body image or eating disorders then please seek help. You can find information on helplines here:
Thank you so much for reading and supporting me. You are beautiful and I wish you all the happiness.
Keep smiling,
Jen xx
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