Eyeing the Exits (creative free verse)

Ever since I can remember, I've been eyeing the exits.

At first it was doors, passages, windows, and pathways.

I'm not quite sure when it changed, yet it did.

Now it's cliffs, bodies of water, rocks under bridges, and pill packets.

The goal remains; Escape.

Escape from people, places, thoughts, and feelings.

It's like hitting the big red emergency stop button.

A guaranteed exit plan in a world that's unpredictable at best.

I love trains.

They have the power to both take you somewhere new, beautiful and exciting.

But they also have to power to let you never experience anything ever again.

I look longingly at the rusted mental tracks.

I know people don't see the world that way I do.

Always planning the great escape.

But that's good, they shouldn't want what I want.

It's a dangerous, turbulent, risky mindset.

So I'll keep romanticising my demise.

While other romanticise living.

They want to live happy long lives.

While that thought feels suffocating to me.

Imagine planning to be here long term....

I actually don't think I'm capable.

So I'll keep look off cliffs, and searching for the sharpest rocks under tallest bridges.

Always eyeing the exits.

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-jen x