My Experience with Bipolar II Disorder
- Jen
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
I haven't done one of these kinda posts in a very long time, so bare with me.
Tonight I just want to talk about what I've experienced with Bipolar II disorder, and what my understanding of this disorder is.
I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II, but I am in no means an expert. I just like sharing my thoughts and experiences in hopes to break stigma attached to mental health.
Bipolar II. Consists of major depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes.
A chemical imbalance, with no cure or set treatment plan. Not well understood, even by professionals. And has a mortality rate of 20%!!! That's 1 in 5 people with bipolar who commit suicide.
On April 29th, I was told I have Bipolar II. This was following the biggest hypomanic episode I've ever experienced. It lasted 3 weeks. And honestly, I thought I was going crazy. And people were just watching it happen.
I've always had these 'phases' of God complex, invincible, consequence-free, lustful, risky behaviours. To the point were everyone around me was well aware these 'phases' existed. I now know these 'phases' to be hyomanic episodes.
But what is hypomanic???
The DSM5 reads:
Hypomanic Episode
A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood and abnormally and persistently increased activity or energy, lasting at least 4 consecutive days and present most of the day, nearly every day.
B. During the period of mood disturbance and increased energy and activity, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable), represent a noticeable change
from usual behavior, and have been present to a significant degree:
Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity.
Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep).
More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking.
Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing.
Distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli), as reported or observed.
Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation.
Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).
C. The episode is associated with an unequivocal change in functioning that is uncharacteristic of the individual when not symptomatic
D. The disturbance in mood and the change in functioning are observable by others.
E. The episode is not severe enough to cause marked impairment in
social or occupational functioning or to necessitate hospitalization.
If there are psychotic features, the episode is, by definition, manic.
F. The episode is not attributable to the physiological effects of a sub-
stance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication or other treatment).
So yeah.... not fun.
And all my life I haven't had an answer to why those things happen to me in waves. And now I have that answer.
It's very bitter-sweet. On one hand I finally know what's wrong. On the other-hand it feels like a death sentence that no one cares about. I just got diagnosed with an illness with a 1in5 death rate. 1in5. Put 5 people with bipolar in a room and one dies because of this disorder. And no one cares. Isn't that crazy??? No but I'm the crazy one, my bad, whoops.
So this is my experience with the disorder. It's crap. I hate it. I have no idea how to cope yet, it's all still so new to me. So I can't offer advice.
Basically just wanted to empty my thoughts on the topic. Thanks for reading if you did. That means a lot.
Goodnight x
-Jen xx
Comments