I am turning 18 on the 7th of August (about 10 days time), and I wanted to reflect on what I have learned during the relatively short time here. These are not in any order and don't have to be crazy deep things either. These could also be debatable or have opinions attached and I don't mean to upset anyone. Anyways, here are 18 things I have learned in 18 years.
1. Not everyone I meet will want to be my friend. People are allowed to dislike me just as I am allowed to dislike them. Not everyone will get along with me and I need to respect and understand that I can be seen as annoying, weird, scary, depressing or just odd, to other people and they are allowed to think that way.
2. Some people will like me. People may even look up to me as an inspiration or role model. People that I don't particularly like may like me and that is okay. I may feel overwhelmed by having friends but it is something that is normal and I will be okay if I open up to those people.
3. How I am feeling is up to me. I have the power to look for positives or look for negatives. The past years may have been awful and full of bad situations but a lot of good happened too and when I think back on things that have happened I see the good first. I am becoming more optimistic and it is helping with my outlook on the world around me.
4. School is hard but will be over very quickly. I never really fit in anywhere but that is because I hadn't found my place yet. I thought I wouldn't make it through high school and here I am with one term and a few exams left. I have made it through the toughest years of my life and I never have to go through that again.
5. I don't need to define the person that I am. I am completely unique and if I try to find a few words to sum that up then I will just be wasting time. I have spent so long trying to figure out who or what I am instead of just being who I am. So what if I listen to Taylor swift and My Chemical Romance? So what if I wear black yet have pink hair? So what if I play video games and love hair styling? I can do what makes me happy without worrying about how others could view me.
6. No one will ever understand what I have been through but that is okay. No one needs to know everything or be aware of my past. Those who know parts of my experiences will never know everything in full as they aren't me. People won't know how I feel or what I'm thinking but that doesn't mean that they don't care.
7. I can't do more than my best. If I am genuinely trying my hardest then that will always be good enough. I can't do everything and I don't need to act like I can. Its okay if some days things are harder than others but if I'm trying then I can't ask for more of myself.
8. I need to know my limits and respect them. If a situation is too hard or something is too overwhelming I need to take a moment to breathe and notice that I can only handle what I can. I have limits and boundaries that can't be crossed right now but maybe one day I can, but if not then that is also okay. I have been through a lot and need to just give myself time to become comfortable and grounded.
9. I am not good at science or sport but I am good at other things. I will never be able to solve chemical equations or play football, but that's okay. I don't need to do those things to be worthy of love and support.
10. I am valid. All my experiences, illnesses, characteristics, feelings, opinions and thoughts are valid and acceptable. I can't change what has happened and I can't change who I have become. I am allowed to be authentically myself.
11. I am the strongest person that I know. I don't think I need to elaborate on this.
12. I absolutely love hairdressing and want to get all my qualifications as soon as possible. So what, it may not be a high paying university job, but it makes me happy. I don't need to spend hundreds of thousands on degrees to be happy or successful in life when I can do what is good for me.
13. Things will go wrong sometimes. I have come to terms with that fact that life will never be perfect and a perfect life doesn't exist. There will always be difficulties, pain, hardships, loss, financial issues, fear and adversity. These things just make me stronger and help me appreciate the good times. Just because things go wrong doesn't mean that I can't be happy. There will always be positives.
14. I am very emotional. I cry when I'm happy, excited, scared, angry, stressed, upset, anxious, depressed, grateful and just in general. Its okay for me to cry, its okay for me to have strong feelings. This is part of who I am and I am okay with that.
15. Time goes fast and memories will be lost. I can't slow down the world because I am not ready for something. I can't stress about making memories or remembering everything I do. The world keeps going and I need to keep going with it. I need to be grateful for every moment that I get.
16. I am beautiful. This took me a very long time to understand. I love that way I look and I love the person I am. I am becoming more confident in my own skin and am accepting all my flaws as they are part of me.
17. I have a voice and the power to use it. If I want to see a change in the world then I need to be part of that change and with social media and the internet, everyone has a voice. I need to use mine to raise awareness for what I care about. If I can help even one other person out there then it will all be worth it. I will keep trying to break stigmas and erase shame that surround mental illness and psychological disorders. I can make a difference and I will.
18. Everything is temporary and will come to an end.
So, that was 18 things that I have learned over my life. I am very excited for my birthday and to become an adult. I feel that this is finally the start of a life controlled by myself and I can be myself. Thank you for reading and I hope that you are having a great day/afternoon/night. I love you all so much and if you need help then please reach out and talk to someone.
Jen xx
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