TW: This article discusses assault, abuse, violence, manipulation, rape, sexual harassment, and sexual assault.
I have created this article with statistics, information, definitions and data from multiple sources. These can be found at the bottom of the article for your own viewing and further research. I am not a professional. I am someone who suffers with multiple metal illnesses and I am a victim of physical, mental/psychological, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse.
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes a person feel uncomfortable, in danger, scared or vaunerable. This includes: Rape (forced, unwanted sex or sexual acts), child sexual abuse (using power, status or manipulation to involve children in sexual activities), and indecent assault (inappropriate behaviour before, after, or during assault).
What is sexual harassment?
A behaviour characterised by making unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace, professional or social situation. This includes, 'cat calling', name calling (whore, slut, etc), unwanted physical touching and groping.
Some statistics...
.Every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted
.From 2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse
.All genders can be victims of assault, in every 10 victims: 9 are female and 1 is male
.up to 70 per cent of women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime
.Approximately 15 million adolescent girls (aged 15 to 19) worldwide have experienced forced sex (forced sexual intercourse or other sexual acts) at some point in their life
.In a national university student survey in Australia, 72 per cent of trans and gender diverse students reported having been sexually harassed at least once during 2016
.At least 144 countries have passed laws on domestic violence, and 154 have laws on sexual harassment
Why do people assault others?
People may become abusers because they want to feel powerful and in control. This may be due to them feeling that they lack control in other aspects of their lives. People who have unresolved abuse may abuse others as a way of dealing with their past traumas. These reasons, while they give an explanation, do not excuse or warrant the violence or abuse of others. Abuse is never okay.
Consent, what does it look like?
Consent is a voluntary, coherent and clear agreement between the participants to engage in specific sexual activity. If someone is of legal age and in the right frame of mind then that are able to consent to sexual activities.
Underage, intoxicated (alcohol or drugs), unconscious, unaware, or threatened people CAN NOT CONSENT. There is no such thing as 'drunk sex' or 'waking up sex' or anything similar. THIS IS RAPE.
If someone doesn't say 'yes' then it is assault. If you are forced into saying 'yes' it is still assault. If you stay silent, it is assault. If you say 'maybe', it is assault.
If you don't want it then it is assault.
What is SAAPM or SAAM?
SAAPM: Sexual assault awareness and prevention month
SAAM: Sexual assault awareness month
This is the month of April every year.
I have been assaulted, what now?
Reach out for some help. This can be incredibly difficult as most sexual assaults are unwitnessed and you may feel that no one will believe you or maybe its not a big deal, but you cant fight this alone. One you have been assaulted you may develop anxiety and depression. Your self confidence may decline along with your ability to remain focused. Sleep disturbances, flashbacks and nightmares are also common.
If you cant tell a family member or friend then reach out to a professional or call the police. By reporting the assault you are stopping the abuser from doing it to another person.
The #metoo movement?
#metoo was created to give survivors of sexual abuse a way to been heard. By using this hashtag you are showing others being abused that they are not alone in this. By searching this hashtag you can find 1000s on 1000s of survivor stories to help you get through this. This movement is there to help you become connected with fellow sexual abuse victims and lead you to some inspirational stories of survival.
Here are some helplines that my also help:
1800 737 732 (Australia)
01708 765 200 (UK)
800 656 4673 (America)
416 597 8808 (Canada)
Someone told me they where assaulted... What can I do?
1. Let them talk but don't but questions on them. They will tell you what they are ready to talk about, this is hard for them and you need to let them talk at their own pace.
2. Listen to them without doubt or judgement. The last thing the need right now is to be called a liar or judged. It wasn't their choice to be assaulted, they don't want this and they definitely don't deserve it.
3. Offer to go with them to report it or get help. This can be a really scary time and they may be afraid to speak to a professional or the police about the situation, especially if they live with the abuser.
4. Check up on them. Ask how they are going and listen to what they say. Show that you care and offer to spend time with them when they are frightened.
5. Tell them that it is okay to be feeing upset, hurt, scared or anxious. By validating their feelings you are allowing them to feel the pain and heal from it. If you tell them to suck it up or get over it you are not allowing them to have any emotions around the issue and this can make it so much worse in the long run.
Real stories about assault...
For some real stories from sexual assault survivors you can visit these links:
More resources to look at (and resources used to create this post):
I hope that you find this informative and that it helps you feel less alone in this battle.
You are never to blame for any assault that you experience. Your feelings are valid and you can speak out. Remember that you can always contact the police if you are in danger and that there will always be someone willing to listen to you, friends, family, or professionals. You can survive this.
Jen xx
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