The following is a poem I composed during my Year 9 high school grade. I was approximately 14 years of age. This may trigger some readers!
Nobody knows the real me,
I hide the pain, which stings like a bee.
No one sees the damage dealt,
But I know the I felt.
I feel trapped in a dome,
I only wish to return home.
It's hopeless I'm worthless,
So isolated and helpless.
I feel so much pain,
But I have had nothing to gain.
The sadness and anger turn to a numbing nothing,
I really just want to feel something.
Now all I can do is sit and cry,
I think I'm ready to say goodbye.
Over the years I have come so far,
But now I cannot hide my scar.
And now there is nowhere left to hide,
My only option seems, suicide.
I have no energy left the yelp,
But I really do need some help.
I can no longer listen to the voices in my head,
Because they make me wish I was dead.
I need someone to understand,
So I can beat this and take a stand.
I want to stop being alone,
So now I have decided to pick up the phone.
I tell them my main feeling is 'sad',
I talk for a while, they must think I'm mad.
I went to see someone the very next day,
And now I have decided I need to stay.
Even with help it still hurts,
At points I feel my heart might burst.
Over time I feel better,
And now I'm so glad I met her.
She is my counsellor and she understands the issue,
When I cry she hands me a tissue.
Helps me get back on my feet,
Most helpful lady I will ever meet.
I began to tell people how I feel,
They tell me things to help me heal.
I'm just one in many who suffer,
I'm sorry to say I was a cutter.
What do I have, this is the question,
And the answer to that is depression.
Now people know the real me,
And my pain stings less like a bee.
I hope by sharing this I can show that even from a young age it is important to get the help that is needed before everything builds up. I am really sorry if this triggered anyone and I hope you are all having an amazing day.
Jen x
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